Developing an Attitude of Gratitude for Better Chronic Pain Management

Many years ago I learned the value of showing up as a contribution instead of a complaint. When life gets rough many of us start complaining; at least I know I do. One day I was going on and on to a good friend of mine who, after listening for awhile, asked me if I would be willing to make a list of all the things in my life I was grateful for instead of just complaining.

I was very surprised as I went through this exercise and had about 50 things I was grateful for. I thought it was a great list. My friend didn’t. He asked me to triple that list. At first I couldn’t understand how I could find that many things to be grateful for, but with his support and coaching I finally did it. I was amazed and the problems I had been complaining about no longer seemed so bad. He even gave me a bumper sticker that said “Attitude of Gratitude.”

About ten years later I ran across a book Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude by Sara Ban Breathnach. The journal asked readers to write down at least five things each day that they were grateful for and at the end of the month summarize the results. The first time I did it I made sure to complete an entire year. Then I pulled away for a few more years.

I started writing another gratitude list because I caught myself complaining and remembered my old friend’s advice. I wrote my lists for just over a year and then stopped again. Almost two years ago I ran across one of my old Gratitude Journals and decided that I want this to be an ongoing part of my life. I started listing five to ten things a day I was grateful for and at the end of the month I listed my top twenty for the month. At the end of the year I put my entire top twenty for each month in the same document. I then choose my top twenty for the entire year after reviewing every single entry I wrote that year.

The most interesting thing about my end of year process was that I was feeling very sad and grieving the recent death of my father. As I started going back over the year I noticed many of my gratitudes were about my relationship with my father and how we were much closer than any other time in my life. My mood and energy started shifting the more I read. By the time I made my top twenty list for 2007 I was again centered, peaceful and happy.

Starting this year I make it a practice to write at least 10 things I'm grateful for each day and at the end of the month pick my top 30 biggest hits. At the end of the year I plan to make a top 30 list for the year.

I have worked with many pain patients over the years that I taught the "attitude of gratitude" process. Those who wrote daily gratitude lists reported that it was impossible for them to be in gratitude and suffering at the same time—most of the time they chose gratitude. I would like to encourage those of you reading this blog to try writing daily gratitude lists for at least a couple of months and see what happens for you. I would love to hear about your experience.

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